35-year-old man refuses to invite girlfriend to work dinner celebrating his promotion because she's 'dramatic': 'I explained my reasons and she called me shallow and insecure'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jun 11, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Growing older means knowing which people to invite to which type of event. You start out all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed, thinking that you can take anyone anywhere. Then you suffer a few humiliations and a few bad nights and realize that you need to have certain friends for certain occasions. 

Maybe you have your single friend who you go out dancing with because you know that your friends with significant others will want to go home after one drink. Maybe you know not to take your mom to certain kinds of movies because she will get complain-y and you'll get defensive. Maybe you know not to take Josh to laser tag because he gets way too into it and someone will end up with a broken rib. This is all wisdom that comes with age. But there are a few people you hope you can bring anywhere, especially if it's celebrating you.

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  • 01

    AITAH for not inviting my girlfriend to my promotion dinner because I knew she'd make it about her?

    I (35M) have been dating "Marla" (34F) for two years. I love her, she's smart, driven, but... dramatic. Especially when the attention isn't on her.
    via u/Low-Psychology7904
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10515971328
    via Sebastian Romero

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The man in this story wasn't so sure he wanted his girlfriend at a particular work dinner. Based on how she had acted in the past, he thought it better to leave her at home. But what did that say about their relationship? Read on to see what happened and decide what you would do.

  • 03
    I just got promoted to partner at my firm. This is huge for me, I've worked toward it for almost a decade. My colleagues threw a small celebratory dinner, and I decided not to invite Marla.
    via u/Low-Psychology7904
  • 04
    Why? Because last time I got recognition at work (Employee of the Year award), she spent the entire dinner talking about how she once turned down a big promotion to "prioritize her mental health." She hijacked every compliment meant for me.
    via u/Low-Psychology7904
  • 05
    So this time, I went alone. Told her it was "just coworkers." She found out through a tagged photo, and now she's livid. She accused me of "hiding her," said I "embarrassed her," and that I made her feel like “a trophy I keep in the closet." I explained my reasons and she called me "shallow and insecure."
    via u/Low-Psychology7904
  • 06
    I feel awful. But I also feel like I deserved a night where I didn't have to babysit someone else's ego. AITAH for excluding my girlfriend from my promotion dinner because I knew she'd make it about herself?
    via u/Low-Psychology7904
  • 07

    Commenters offered some tough love.

    xoxo-Babe1 • 5h ago Worked in couples counseling for years this behavior - doesn't magically improve with time or marriage. You're basically telling us you can't even enjoy your own professional milestone without walking on eggshells. Think hard about that.
    via u/xoxo-Babe1
  • 08
    Responsible_Set2833 4h ago • And she's going to do the same thing to any children OP has with her also. If she takes over the conversation in all gatherings to make it about herself, it's not worth it.
    via u/Responsible_Set2833
  • 09
    Standard_Session1106 · 5h ago • NTA. But why are you with her?
    via u/Standard_Session1106
  • 10
    I_have_spoken_0_0.5h ago Ntah. This is your big moment and achievement, and I don't think you have to cater to anyone else's needs on your celebratory night. It was thrown by your work, for you, in a professional manner, and was not necessary an obligatory partner invite. You
    via u/I_have_spoken_0_0
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10515971584
    via Unsplash+ (Yunus Tuğ)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    chose to keep it focused on you and I cannot see how that's a bad thing. She should be taking a real look at herself and why you didn't ask her to come. But honestly love of her aside. What kind of relationship do you really have that you don't want to share these moments with your significant other.
    via u/I_have_spoken_0_0
  • 13
    That you know she will try and bring you down instead of letting you shine. It doesn't have to be a deal breaker, but you may need to have a step back and see if this is the type of partner you want to support you in life.
    via u/I_have_spoken_0_0
  • 14
    Time_Tutor_3042 • 5h ago NTA but you may be stupid for staying with her, every promotion, every birthday, every celebration are you ready to shrink yourself? Is she going to be like this when you have children?
    via u/Time_Tutor_3042
  • 15
    Odd-Poet-1291 5h ago SHE IS KIND OF TOXICCCCCCC .
    via u/Odd-Poet-1291
  • 16
    xoxoSunflower1 5h ago • As a woman who dated someone similar, you're NTA. My ex would literally fake injuries at other people's events to get attention. During my sister's graduation, she pretended to faint right as they called my sister's name. Trust me, you saved yourself from a major headache.
    via u/xoxoSunflower1
  • 17
    • Ok-Entrepreneur-9439 · 5h ago You're at a place in your relationship where you: don't feel you can be honest with her, dont trust her, and dont think she will put your interests first when its important to do so. The fact you decided to exclude her this time tells me some part of you is already aware this relationship is over. This is not a happy place for you. I would be unhappy too. Time to end it.
    via u/Ok-Entrepreneur-9439
  • 18
    Dangerous-Wait-8670 5h ago I get why you didn't invite her, everyone deserves to enjoy their moment without it being derailed. But if you're constantly worried she'll shift the spotlight, that's a sign something deeper's off. You
    via u/Dangerous-Wait-8670
  • 19
    say you love her, and maybe outside of moments like this she's a great partner but is that enough when your big wins feel like a battle? It's worth asking if this relationship still supports who you're becoming.
    via u/Dangerous-Wait-8670
  • 20
    Wazza17 5h ago NTA, but man why are still dating. Move on from this little girl and go find yourself a grownup
    via u/Wazza17
  • 21
    TallRelationship2253·5h ago Oh look. She didn't even go to the dinner and she is still ruining it for you. You need to stand firm in your reasoning why you didn't invite her. She is trying to twist the reasons why she wasn't invited. If she is unable to calm
    via u/TallRelationship2253
  • 22
    down and listen and have some self reflection, then maybe she isn't the girl for you. Imagine if you have kids with her and she is competing with a daughter and doing the same thing in every situation? This type of behavior is exhausting.
    via u/TallRelationship2253
  • 23
    Glum-Guard-3497 5h ago • Not the a hole. She totally co-opted your last bash making it all about her woes with mental illness and now she's gobsmacked that you weren't clamoring for an encore performance. You were being kind by saying it was just coworkers instead of I didn't
    via u/Glum-Guard-3497
  • 24
    want you derailing another milestone in my career she's not some trophy gathering dust in a closet just not the main character this time around and she can't handle that fact very well.
    via u/Glum-Guard-3497
  • 25
    Creepy-Stable-6192 ·5h ago NTA for not wanting her there. No one wants their significant other telling everyone about their woes while they are trying to celebrate. YTA for lying to her though. You should have told the truth or ended the relationship. Quick question though, why are you still with a woman who doesnt support you at your own celebration?
    via u/Creepy-Stable-6192
  • 26
    Dalyb218 4h ago YTA for being with someone who can't celebrate you.
    via u/Dalyb218
  • 27
    • jazzyma71 4h ago ESH. The reason I think you may be the AH too, is that if you continue down the road with this partner, you will continue to lie to her. And the lies will just keep getting bigger.
    via u/jazzyma71

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